Why does the media push for emotion? Reaction?
People want to see what makes people squirm, how people explode when they’re boxed into a corner, how others deal with uncomfortable issues. It’s why some people watch hockey games for the fights or the car races for the accidents- it’s the danger. It’s sad to say, but we’ve become a nation of voyeurs- we want watch people pushed, see how they deal with situations and themselves. A thousand years ago crowds watched gladiators in the Roman Coliseum for entertainment; and now we have TV.
“After the Catch” is a program that sits the Captains of crab boats aired on “Deadliest Catch” to discuss their season and what transpired. They also bring on members of their crews and face them with film footage- facts- they’ve been able to share. Since Phil Harris passed, the producers still air film of him (Philisms-wisdom & philosophy from the Captain) and lets face it- the pain is still raw. Freddie, one of the Cornelia Marie’s deck hands worked with Phil for close to 10 years and was emotional as rough and tumble guys go. Jonathan, co-captain for the Time Bandit, got up and walked out of a discussion. Sig turned out the lights in the captain house when he found out. No man wants to show his vulnerability for the world to see.
In this sit down discussion, the men gather around a round table with beer, in a bar, music to the side and screen behind them. It’s informal, and reminded me of what I visualize as a Native American Pow Wow’s where different tribes met in a teepee to talk about differences between their tribes, disputes, the land, the weather, the effects of outside factors on home lives and come to resolutions, solutions for a better nation.
Today we’ve become members of a fractured society; each member fighting for themselves. No longer in a “group think” or larger unit, but small “me think” groups based on individual units. Families are split by not just distance, but time- divorce rates are high, neighborhood kids stay inside instead of playing out, and there now lives the expectation that all things should be handed to them on a silver platter. People need to be politically correct and we end up tip toeing around everything we say so as NOT to offend another person. Regardless of what you say or what you do, you’re going to offend someone…..
There’s a general perception today that men should be more caring more nurturing. I’m not denying this should be the way it is, but in the course of 100 years society expects to go from men who have internalized their “soft sides” to being out right open about it. Over thousands of years, men have grown and been brought up not to be soft and to be strong, hide those emotions and vulnerability to others, and only share with family and close friends. It’s not that those emotions aren’t there- they’re hidden, to keep us strong. It’s like we’ve been brainwashed, disarmed by the creations on which our world has grown in 100 years.
Women are strong, they always have been. They have gone through thousands of years raising families and multi-tasking, its no wonder they’re great in business. Over millennia they’ve been the “sensitive” ones who children look to for comfort, to heal wounds, to instill values they need to blend into society as adults. This was the tradition, and over the course of the last century the world is different. Transitional.
A comment made by the producer that bothered me was something like, “but the woman in Nebraska needs to see the emotion”- my answer is Why? Some business is off limits and tapping into the emotional psyche of a guy who grinds 80 hours at a pop- I don’t agree with. Certainly, there may be a need for communication to open up couples or parents, but via a TV show? At what sacrifice? The sacrifice of position as captain of a crab boat?
I had a very sobering look into the blue-collar worker years ago in the shadows of the Trade Center collapse. I’d gone down to the site to absorb the impact and found myself in a bar close by. Many of the ironworkers were there fresh from the site. A few played pool, a few bull shitted at the bar, all with drinks. The bartender was a woman and after a few beers I started to talk to her about the well being of these guys. She told me there was a facility on the site, which had psychologists to help them through, but she told me, “do you think any of these guys would go to them? NO. These are hardened men and what they see, they’ll take home with them. You can tell them, but there not gonna go. They’d rather play pool, drink- they’re not gonna talk to them about their problems- we all have them.”
Uncomfortable issues need to be brought up- over beers, with friends, with professional help, whatever it takes. Really, it’s all about trust, respect, integrity and understanding. Facts are facts, stamp out rumors, bring it to the table and work it out. HOWEVER it’s done.
Let me step from my soapbox……
I plan to hit two bars today in opposite directions- one on the upper West Side, the other in South Street Seaport. They’re both off the 2 & 3 Lines and I have a train from Penn at 3:30pm. Timing is essential and the heat is supposed to top 100 degrees, which means the subways will be a bear. If I’m lucky, they’ll be no mechanical breakdowns. I might even get a cool breeze off the water at the Paris Café. I’ll split my thirst between beer and water. Suppose it’d be prudent to have some food too. About now I’m thinking of an ice cone.